Monday, May 5, 2008

Africa? What is Juan thinking?

Hi everyone, this is Juan. A lot of people have asked us how we came to our decision to go to Africa. Here are the intimate details of the road that has brought me here. I'll let Christine share her own thoughts. I have had this dream in the back of my mind as far back as I can remember. Ever since I was a young adult, I never felt that the life I was living made much sense. That is, working my butt off at school so that I can get a good job so that I can get the nice house and car and be 'successful'. And a lot of people I talked to shared this feeling, but we all got sucked in despite this. It seemed obvious back then that there had to be more to life.



But it's not that simple. God has a divine plan, and we are all a part of it. I know that 5 or 10 years ago, I was not ready to do what I'm about to do. God`s plan has divine timing. Many of you may not know this, but I didn't believe in Christ before I met Christine. Then my life took a 180 degree turn. She introduced me to Him and I fell in love. It was an amazing experience. I remember sitting in my room, back when I used to live with mom and dad, and cracking open the Bible for the first time. I didn`t know what to expect. I opened up my heart just a little bit so I could see what all the fuss was about - and He blew it wide open. I remember crying uncontrollably and inexplicably for a long long time. I felt something I had never felt before, and I began to apologize profusely to Jesus for shutting Him out for so long. I will never forget that moment in my life.



I remember also that before I met Christine, I never felt at peace. I was really nerdy and unpopular and was always thinking I would never meet the girl of my dreams, and that I would have to grow up alone. And those kinds of thoughts are scary and humbling. When I met Christine, it's like I finally found someone who appreciated the real me, and I no longer had to pretend. I found peace. I know that Christine is who God intended me to be with. I know this because I simply cannot remember my life before I met her.


I think this is my long-winded way of saying that 'I grew up'.


Anyways, I had always been afraid to tell Christine of my dream to leave this life for a better, less comfortable, but way more purposeful one. She might have thought I was crazy, and it may very well have caused some pretty serious issues in our marriage. Then, about 2 years ago, she told me that she had this dream - the very dream that I had! WHOAH!!! I didn't even know how to react! I mean, 'the girl of my dreams' is just an expression right? :) Wow. So we started talking about it. Could we really do it? Is it realistic? Would our friends and family support us? We would leave behind everything we knew. Could we live with less? Are we crazy? The decision was not easy. It was back and forth for two years. There was no shortage of excuses. Then two of my really good friends did it. They left everything they had for a greater purpose. Up until then, I didn't think I could do it, but watching them step onto the narrow path gave me inspiration. It's an interesting irony: making the choice to give up EVERYTHING you have gives you the opportunity to do ANYTHING. Anything. How many of us really believe we can do *anything*? All of a sudden, everything that has you bound is no more. You are totally free to pursue what is really in your heart.



I have learned that nothing happens without God`s will, and so I know now that everything that has happened to me has been to mold me, and it will never stop. I am at point in my life where I am ready to step onto that narrow path. And the scary thing to me is that I am not afraid. I should be. I really should be. There are many risks: leaving our lives behind, an unforseeable amount of unknowns, disease, going hungry, getting hurt, seeing real suffering, seeing death, etc etc etc. There is real cause for fear. But God says that love conquers all fear. And we know that He is watching over us - He has our backs. And with Him in our corner, we are not afraid. We will overcome and we will persevere. He has already done so much for us, and all we have done is made a choice. We are choosing to go find Him. And I believe we will find Him.


Please pray for us and for our families and our friends. Even though it is only Christine and I going, I can feel that everyone else is helping to carry our load. Thanks you guys. God Bless.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chris & Juan:
Aww wow! I loved the post and so glad I read it... It's interesting reading this because I and the person in my life find ourselves at a VERY similar point in life. You've said so much of what we've been feeling for the last little while. We went to school, graduated, have great jobs that we love - but, something is missing in our life! I think it's been a realization for myself that the current set-up, though it may satisfy all the materialistic needs, it'll never be truly satisfying. I can say with certainty that something is definitely missing... I've been wanting to go do something similar and offer myself in any way possible, to raise my own awareness of this beautiful world I live in and be a part of something greater... much more than just satisfying my own needs, day after day! It's a very LIMITED lifestyle we live today...

It's beautiful to see how you and Chris have really grown together and how you two shine so bright! I've seen you two since university and just to see you share this spiritual journey, this life together and allow each other to grow as human beings, it shows what a marriage should be, a true companionship! You two are blessed, not only because you've been granted the opportunity but because you've had the courage to recognize how truly rich an experience this really is, for any individual! You two will be guided and taken care of.

thanks for sharing.. I wish you two all the very best.
Love and blessings,
Shilpa

Femmes Singapore said...

for what it's worth i didn't think you were that nerdy and I was sure you'd eventually find someone :)

M.R said...

Dunno why but there is a part that made me remember this quote: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man must seek Him to find her"....
God bless you both ...
More comments to come about this post but later !!